This is not intended to be a conclusive statement on marriage, divorce and remarriage. Only some thoughts and notes as I continue to shape and reshape my understanding of these issues.
These particular notes come from Matthew 19 and 1 Corinthians 7. To understand the notes the reader must compare them to the biblical passages mentioned.
Some will read this and recognize that their own marriage, divorce, or remarriage may have taken place “out of God’s will.” Remember, God is gracious and forgives those who turn to Him in faith and obedience.
No doubt, some readers will find these thoughts to be old-fashioned, out-dated, and/or unrealistic. My intent is not to define my view so much as the biblical view as it pertains to these two proof texts.
If the reader is an unbeliever or an antagonist, I expect disagreement. I will post your disagreement if it is reasonable and respectful—I will not permit vulgarity, slander, or malicious content in the comment section. I will likely not respond to comments.
Notes on Matthew 19:3-12
- Notice the question: “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason”?
- God’s plan is one man for one woman: He “joins” us together in marriage.
- Man should not attempt to separate (divorce) what God has joined together.
- Divorce is permitted only as a concession, “Moses permitted…”
- Divorce is permitted because people’s “hearts were hard.”
- Back to the question: “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason”?
- It is not lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason.
- It is lawful for a man to divorce his wife if she has been sexually immoral.
- Conclusion to the question: It is lawful for a man to divorce his wife and remarry another woman ONLY in the case of “sexual immorality” on the part of his spouse. In other words, the innocent party is permitted to marry another without being guilty of adultery.
Notes on 1 Corinthians 7
- To the Married, Section One (1 Corinthians 7:1-7):
- “Because of the present crisis” it is better not to marry (v. 26).
- Marriage helps protect us from sexual immorality.
- The husband and wife should maintain a healthy sexual relationship.
- The only reason and husband and wife should abstain from the sexual relationship is a sort of fasting for spiritual growth; such fasting should only be temporary.
- It is sinful to withhold sex from your marriage partner in most all circumstances.
- To the married, Section Two (1 Corinthians 7:10-17):
- The couple should not separate; however, if the couple separates, they should remain single or be reconciled to one another.
- If an unbelieving spouse leaves a believing spouse, the believing spouse “is not bound” to the marriage (Permitted to remarry? That is the big question!).
- To the Unmarried (1 Corinthians 7:8-9):
- “Unmarried” is someone who is not currently in a marriage, not necessarily someone who has never been married.
- “Unmarried” can apply to people who have never been married, to people who are divorced, and to widows (see v. 11 where “unmarried” applies to a divorced woman).
- “Because of the present crisis” it is better to remain unmarried (v. 26).
- If they cannot remain unmarried, they are permitted to marry and/or remarry.
- To the Widows (1 Corinthians 7:8-9):
- “Widow” means bereaved and stricken of riches (normally refers to women).
- Better to remain unmarried “Because of the present crisis” (v. 26).
- If they cannot, they are permitted to marry.
- To the Virgins (1 Corinthians 7:25-26):
- “Virgin” normally refers to a young, unmarried girl (a maiden); however, it is very occasionally used to describe a chaste, moral man in Scripture.
- If they can stay virgin, that is better, “Because of the present crisis” (v. 26).
- If they want to marry, that is permitted.
- No binding commands, only suggestions.
- Conclusions on 1 Corinthians 7:
- Paul does not describe his present marital “status,” just wishes that his audience would remain “as I am,” which is not described, but was evident to the Corinthian church.
- Paul was a Pharisee and therefore was married at some point in the past, but not when he wrote the Corinthian letter.
- It is my opinion that Paul’s faith in Christ drove his wife away from him—and that he permitted her to divorce him; he chose to remain unmarried rather than to remarry (because he felt more effective as a single man); it is also possible that Paul had been widowed (although he does not describe himself as such).
- We do not know what “present crisis” caused Paul to tell people not to marry or remarry.
Final Conclusions:
- Both Jesus’ and Paul’s words carry equal weight—both are part of inspired, God-breathed, Scripture. Thus, both must be considered.
- God’s original plan is one man for one woman for all time.
- Divorce and/or Remarriage are permitted as concession not as command.
- A marriage can be lawfully dissolved by three circumstances:
- The marriage is undone by death (the survivor is allowed to remarry).
- The unbelieving spouse leaves a believing spouse (the believing spouse is held innocent).
- If one spouse is found guilty of “sexual immorality” (the faithful spouse is held innocent).
- Thus divorce is permitted (conceded not recommended) in only two circumstances:
- In the case of dissolution of marriage by “sexual immorality.” —Jesus
- In the case of dissolution of marriage by an “unbelieving spouse.” —Paul
Matt’s Concession & Confession:
- I am convinced that a marriage can be dissolved for certain things (see previous).
- I am not convinced that permission to divorce is the same as permission to remarry.
- However, it seems to me that remarriage is permitted as a lesser of two evils (as an alternative to unrelenting sexual temptation due to the dissolution of previous marriage).
Further Recommendation:
- More extensive study on the meaning of “sexual immorality” is needed.
- More extensive study on the Greek meaning of “virgin” is also needed.
- More conclusive understanding of what “not bound” to a marriage means.
